You're my little dorito
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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