just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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