please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
