Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
