Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
