when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
