Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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