Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dual....:-)
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
