I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
