Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
