where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize