She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
