you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
