If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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