It's Friday. Sex?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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