I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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