i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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