Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
