cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
