you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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