Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
