based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
third nipple confirmed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
