She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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