bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
