i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
