Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
