i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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