He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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