Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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