I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
