i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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