that's an acceptable place to lick
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
