just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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