Do you still have your period?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
