it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
