How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
