Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
