Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
