facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
