and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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