About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
