the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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