AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
