too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
