How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
