its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
