I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
