but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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