after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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