look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
