What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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