Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
