Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
