It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
