no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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