Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize