My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
