god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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