Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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