so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
