Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
