you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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